Dog Food

So, I’m at Wal-Mart today buying a bag of dog food for my dog. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT???

So on impulse, I told her no, I was starting the dog food diet again, and that I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awoke in intensive care with tubes coming out of every orifice and IVs in both arms.

I told her it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with dog food nuggets and simply eat a few every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to lick myself and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

Now if you believe this story you must believe you can buy ocean front property in Arizona.

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